I'm slipping, I know. It's been another month since I last had a post.
And even worse, I have been on vacation leave (theoretically) for a week, and I still had not been able to sit down and write until now.
Yes, it's theoretical because when people at work know that you're in Hong Kong during leaves, they just disregard your leaves and expect that you would still respond to emails and everything. Actually, nowadays, even if you're away, you have to be at a really remote place to get out of the email expectation. I'm not to blame anyone for this very abnormal and unhealthy phenomenon because I'm part of it too. I try not to respond to all emails but I do respond when I feel I should. This is intermittent reinforcement (in learning theories terminology), and it's effective in encouraging the behaviors being reinforced - email sending!
I talk a lot about my work, don't I? Does that make me a very boring person? May be... But I can't deny the fact that my work has become quite an important part of me in the past few years. Why is that? I think there are several reasons -
1. my job is a demanding one; most people spend long hours working; I think I'm perhaps around the mean or slightly above in terms of the amount of time I spend on work in comparison to my colleagues.
2. There are virtually no boundaries to our roles and responsibilities. I always feel like I'm not doing enough. When you have 5 research studies going on, you ask why not 6 or 7. There are so many interesting and important questions to be studied out there. When you've spent two hours reviewing a student's work, you ask why not 3 or 4 hours? They need the feedback from you. When you've written 2 grants, you ask why not another one, so as to increase the chance of success, then more work can be done, more students can be trained, more people will benefit from your work. The list goes on in all areas of my work - admin, teaching, research... and can even expand to involvement in campus and the society!
3. Kaz is easy on me. He's low-maintenance as a husband, and he respects what I do so never really "complains" about me spending too much time on work.
4. Most of our friends are busy with either their work or their kids so most often, it's them being unavailable for us, rather than the other way round.
5. The TV shows in HK are too boring! :)
6. I find freedom in my work. Regardless of some politics and besides the basic responsibilities, I do enjoy the privilege of having a high degree of freedom in my work. Although I still work long hours, and sometimes on weekends, I can choose my work time most of the time. I can choose my research areas, my research students, my collaborators, my training, where to go for conferences, etc. and freedom is hard to find and difficult to buy.
7. I find meaning in my work. I am an idealist and I need very clear reasons to guide my work - I.e I need to know why I'm doing what I'm doing, how the work I do relate to what I believe. It's quite easy to make this connection in my job. I guess that's why it's so easy to justify long hours of work. I don't know if academia or my school has brain-washed me to believe that doing my job well is fulfilling my mission and calling. But I do feel that I'm making a direct impact on students' lives and that impact is going to multiply as they influence others in their lives. I also hope that my research is going to make an impact in the long run, although it takes much longer to see those fruits.
Why am I talking about work again? Because it's been exactly 5 years since I started this job, and it's a good time to reflect on it. I am grateful for my job, and hope to stay here for at least a few more years before I think about moving onto other things. As I enter into parenthood in just a few more weeks, I do need to juggle among my roles more, but I still hope that I can be loyal to my work while being a dedicated parent.
