My Year 2019

It is an understatement to say that 2019 was a special year. It was so different from any other year for everyone in HK. It seems a bit self-centred to review the year from my own perspective but I guess I can do it as I'm not a politician or historian, and it was MY year 2019 that I'm talking about.

The Easter Miracle 

Jesus, “I came to finish the work my Father sent me to do.” John 4:34

“It is finished” - 

In early-mid April 2019, the drs thought I had a tumor in my left lung, causing its collapse (one dr even pointed to us on the chest x-ray where she thought the tumor was). God gave me immense peace waiting for the CT results, but my husband was devastated. The rational me started preparing for the fight, settling my work, looking at my insurance policies, and most importantly, spending as much time as I could with my daughter so as to minimize her deprivation of her mother’s love, in case I would be very sick or even die from the sickness. I even started recording my reading of her favorite books…… 

On a Sunday during those 2 weeks of waiting, my small group prayed over me, and when my leader asked me what was on my heart, I said I hoped to survive this because I felt that my work (as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a ministry leader, a scholar, and a psychologist) was not finished. Yet, as soon as we started praying, I realized that even death couldn’t separate us from the love of God. So if God takes me, He will take care of my family, in ways that they need to be taken care of, not in my ways. So why should I have this bottom line, thinking that I would endure whatever it took as long as I could survive this? Do I think that my value is based on my work? Or do I feel that I haven’t done enough to justify my salvation? Or do I think that God has to let me continue to live if He truly loves me and my family? The Holy Spirit filled me and assured me that it’s all taken care of and I could face whatever was ahead of me because our all-loving God was, is, and will always be in control.

Then to everyone’s surprise, CT and bronchoscopy showed no tumors, benign or malignant! (A friend told me she had a vision when praying for me that the drs were all surprised seeing a clear CT scan). This was a bonus birthday gift from God this year (in addition to my favourite cloudy weather that God gives me every year on my birthday…. I know, I’m very spoiled :). Guess that’s an example of God’s “reckless” love on us. 

On Good Friday, we learned again that the only person who could ever finish His/Her works when one’s life ends would be Jesus Christ. Thank God it’s not about how much and how well one has done, but about walking with God and living out the purpose that God has given us in the days that God gives us, no matter how long or how short that is, because our imperfect earthly life is only a rehearsal for eternity. 

This Easter is a special one indeed - not because God took away my tumor or gave me more days on earth, but because of the reassurance of the liberation from the power of death by Jesus’ blood and His resurrection. Yes, not even death can separate us from the love of God. I’m saved once and for all, 30 years ago, today and forever. This is THE Easter miracle. 

I hope to write on my tombstone, “It’s finished, not by me, but by Him alone.”

Thank you Jesus.

Walking in between parallel universes

Just as I walked back to the battlefield (this world), thinking that "ok, God, what's next?", something bigger than any of us struck HK - the extradition bill. The introduction of the bill and the Gov's handling of it has led to intense uproar in the society. I recall after the first 3 times of demonstrations in June/July, I felt so exhausted and said to myself, I hope the Gov't would listen and we could go back to having normal Sundays very soon...then the movement lasted for the rest of the year and still hasn't really ended (both in terms of getting the 5 demands and the conflicts between police and citizens). Then there was the CityU, CU, and PU incidents. I managed to get in PU a couple times trying to reach the students and provide some help. No many were willing to talk in the first time. As for the second time, I just had a vision waking up on a Sunday - In the vision, my church's worship team was at PU worshipping God all around campus. Then I messaged my pastor during the sermon time, and he went with me and the worship team to PU that last afternoon-evening. We sang all over campus. Although we didn't really meet students that time, we prayed that the praises touched their hearts.
The parallel universes were that of the fighters and the establishment. Due to my connection with the Police, I maintained close contact with them and tried to do anything I could to facilitate understanding and communication. There was no much I could do actually, but I still hope to be friends of my friends there because they needed Jesus in their lives more than ever.
I'm not too sure how long and how far I can go in between the two universes.... but I will try to love as long as God permits.

New body at the beginning of 2020

I underwent an elective operation in Jan 2020 to remove my uterus due to long-standing issues with it. I have been taking medication in the past year, and they seemed to work well but then I also had some new symptoms of my respiratory system and voice that triggered my lung exams back in Mar-May. While a collapsed lung was found, which was later confirmed to had been there since 2012, nothing else was identified to explain the symptoms that I had. Therefore, I decided to stop the hormonal treatment and had the surgery, with a hope that I won’t have to be on medications and the breathing and voice problems can be improved. 

So the operation went well, and I'm now sitting at home reviewing my 2019 (ye, it takes a surgery for me to sit down:).

Lots of blessings in my health journey. This song sums up my learning and feeling quite well. :)

https://youtu.be/n0FBb6hnwTo

(“With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God!” How suiting!:)